KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS

The question I posed: “What do your kids think you do for a living? (And what did you think your parents did?)”

After 15 long years navigating the corporate landscape, I thought I’d seen it all—the buzzwords, the endless meetings, the passive-aggressive email chains. Moving to Los Angeles seven years ago gave me a new view (mostly of sunshine, palm trees and traffic), but the fundamental misunderstanding of modern work remains. During a brief moment of inspiration and curiosity, I decided to poll my friends, asking not only what their own kids think now, but also what they thought their parents did back when they were kids.

The answers? — brilliantly strip away the corporate veneer and replace it with either utter fantasy, pure heroism, or just a simple, unvarnished reality. This is what the next generation—and the kids we once were—thought we were doing when we left the house.

THE LITERALISTS: IF YOU WORK FOR IT, YOU MUST BE IT

Christopher (My Husband – From His Childhood)

When my husband, Christopher, was young, his dad was a mechanical engineer at Gillette. Christopher’s childhood interpretation was spot-on, if extremely literal.

“My dad was a professional shaver.”

— Christopher (Age Unknown) 

My Take: It’s hard to argue with this logic. If he works for a razor company, he must be the top expert in using the product! We imagine he practiced his trade in a lab coat, perfectly trimming the foam off of various test subjects.

Bea’s Dad (Commercial Ship Captain – From Her Childhood)

This one is truly charming. Bea told me about her dad, a commander of commercial vessels, back when she was little.

“I used to think that my dad is like Popeye the sailorman – he drives the whole ship!”

— Bea (Age Unknown)

My Take: I appreciate the simplicity. After 15 years of corporate logistics, the idea of a job that required just spinach and a firm grip on the wheel sounds like actual freedom. Forget the spreadsheets; I hope he still has the pipe.

THE DREAMERS: TURNING CORPORATE TITLES INTO COMIC BOOK HEROES

Paul Ngo (E-Commerce Account Manager / Sales Department)

Paul manages e-commerce accounts, a job that is, apparently, a clandestine front for saving the world.

“Uncle fights crime at night. He’s Batman.”

— Henry, age 4 (nephew)

My Take: You have to love the imagination here. E-commerce management might not involve a Batmobile, but I bet the adrenaline level during an inventory crisis is comparable to disarming a bomb. Plus, knowing Sales, he probably gets his best leads on the roof of the tallest building.

Matt Paragas (Graphic Designer / R&D Department)

Matt deals with high-level design and research. His 2-year-old sees through the jargon to the single most desirable output: a glorious, shiny product.

“Daddy gone, daddy go work and make stickers! Yay!”

— Millie, age 2 (daughter)

My Take: After 15 years, I can tell you that every designer wishes their job was just making stickers. It suggests a beautiful, unburdened creative process. And when you’re 2, being the Sticker Supplier is the highest rank possible.

THE REALISTS: THE SOUL-CRUSHING TRUTH OF THE 21ST CENTURY

Ayin (Marketing Director / Marketing Department)

My friend Ayin, a high-level Marketing Director, got the most cutting, unvarnished truth about her career.

“You go to the office and check your email all day.”

— Xander, age 8 (son)

My Take: Fifteen years in, this kid speaks my truth. Forget strategic planning and quarterly reports; 90% of management is simply the curation of the inbox. This is the kind of stark, honest insight that makes you briefly consider retiring to a tiny house. 😉

Yalina (Marketing Coordinator / Marketing Department)

Yalina’s coordination and research skills translate into something far more fabulous, though, thankfully, not as focused on email.

“She researches things and is the REAL Princess Jasmine.”

— Felicity, age 12 (goddaughter)

My Take: A great coordinator is a bit of a royal figure—charismatic, capable of negotiation, and likely to achieve a happy ending. And let’s be honest, in L.A., a business class flight is basically a magic carpet.

Louie (Sales / Sales Department)

Louie works in Sales, but his grandson has figured out the true dream job: independence and the open road.

“Papa owns a bike shop.”

— Liam, age 9 (grandson)

My Take: A sweet, hopeful delusion. Kids see the things we spend our free time on (like cycling in this sunshine) and assume that must be the main gig. I hope Louis gets to that bike shop soon; that’s the only way to avoid the 405 traffic.