When you think about it, love means almost everything and almost nothing at the same time.
What does love mean to you? What makes you feel loved?
I don’t know about y’all, but I love to love those I love. I’m very selective with who I choose to love, who I choose to invest my time and energy into, and who I choose to genuinely connect with and show up for. Because my energy is precious and love is a choice, not an obligation. You feel me?
When given the challenge to write about 7 days of love, my mind automatically went into overtime, over thinking about how I was going to show people love for the next 7 days. Feeling like I was going to have to go above and beyond what I would normally do because I didn’t feel like I show love every day of my life, let alone 7 days in a row. But this assignment was actually a perfect fit and very timely for me, as I‘m currently on my journey towards healing and self-love. And let me tell you, it’s been an interesting and tumultuous 5-year journey, but I finally feel like I’m starting to break through. So naturally, this made me deep dive into thinking about love languages and all the ways I give and receive love.
Day 1: Food for the Soul
Anyone that knows me knows that you can love on me with food all day, errrday. Like I will literally work for food. A few years ago, I did a small freelance job for some homemade banana pudding and cinnamon rolls. Call me easy, it’s fine – I’m totally okay with it.
So, I have 2 older sisters who I love and adore – even though they hated me when we were younger – but we’ll save those stories for another day. Well, they loved me with food today. It was a rainy day, so my sis G asked if I wanted ramen and I’m like “DUH.” We ate our ramen together and it was cute. And my sis D, who always shows her love by cooking, made these delicious little moist yellow cakes with chocolate ganache frosting. After I basically inhaled the one she gave me, I asked if she had more because I low key have glutinous tendencies. The thought of them going out of their way to think of me just made me feel special and, well, loved. And they probably don’t even know it. Then all this food stuff made me think of my parents who got COVID because of me. So, I checked in on them and told them I loved and appreciated them for taking care of me at their house when I was sick. I offered to postmates them food but they left me on read and never replied, so yeah. They hate me.
I also sprinkled myself with some love. You know those days when you feel like you radiate love and self-care, with your soul and skin on the glow up? Well, that was me on this day. Felt extra cute – great hair day, great vintage wrap sweater that makes my waist look snatched, great boots, blah blah blah. I even posted a selfie on my IG story – which is a super duper rare sighting. It was a whole “felt cute, might delete later” kinda vibe with no actual intentions of deleting later.
When I got home from work, I was really missing my husband. After Christmas, I got COVID and was quarantined at my parents. Then he got COVID while I was there – so we basically spent the new year alone and depressed and sick. And alone. I was craving his love and affection but he was still sick, so physically I couldn’t go near him. So, I put on a sexy nightgown that I got for Christmas and sent him pics. But you know, COVID things, so no real action was had. I just wanted to tell him that I miss him and his presence. And remind him how sexy I am… Felt cute, not deleting later.
Looking back, I can remember these days so vividly. And I know I remember them because I was mindful, taking both literal and mental notes, and just fully present.
So, with this challenge, a few things I’m asking myself are:
1. What do I want to achieve?
2. Why do I want to achieve it?
3. What do I expect to gain from this?
Can’t wait to explore this journey with you and share what’s next….until next time, byeee!