TWO IS COMPANY AND THREE IS A CROWD

The air in the car was thick with the scent of anxiety and – let’s be honest – male dog pheromones. My husband, bless his wool socks, insisted on bringing all three French Bulldogs on our road trip to Salt Lake City. Two of them we’re dog-sitting for the holidays, and the third is our latest blessing, a rescue/adoption situation that I’ll discuss at length in next month’s article.“But darling,” I reminded him, “The three will for sure be a riot… are you sure you are ready?”

But no, apparently, a relaxing vacation in Utah with three French Bulldogs was precisely what my husband – a man who once tried to teach a squirrel to eat out of his hand – deemed “essential for our 2024 holiday vacation” – aka our first as a married couple.

The first few hours were, shall we say, eventful. Winston, true to form, attempted to express his excitement over every passing vehicle. Porkchop, oblivious to the chaos, spent the entire journey grunting his discontent with the seating arrangements. And Cookies? Well, Cookies decided that this trip would be the first car ride where he would throw up what remained of his earlier breakfast – the one I so lovingly prepared.

We finally stopped at a gas station in Mesquite, Arizona (about halfway through our 9-10 hour journey), a scene that could only be described as a canine comedy of errors. Winston tried to mount Porkchop out of excitement. Porkchop, mistaking the vast empty lot for a doggy spa, attempted to roll through the dirt. And Cookies, in a fit of joy, decided to “mark” the tire of our car with his barely controlled pee.

The remainder of the journey was a symphony of snores, grunts, and the occasional, soul-crushing whine. We resorted to bribery (dog treats), threats (stern voices), and a desperate search for the best Spotify calming dog music playlist.

Finally, after what felt like a year, we arrived in Salt Lake City. We reached my best friend’s home, and the Frenchies, sensing new territory to conquer, immediately launched into a series of territorial disputes with the three big boxers that my bestie and her husband own.

Our vacation, I’m happy to admit, consisted mostly of comical damage control. We spent hours disciplining the dogs, chasing them off urine spots on the carpet, and attempting to decipher the hieroglyphics of canine urine stains on the pristine, freshly fallen snow.

Despite the chaos, there were moments of endearing hilarity. Cookies, being the youngest of the group, continued to show his sheer enthusiasm with the three boxers, seemingly unmindful of their size difference (he keeps stealing their toys, lol). Winston, shaking with excitement, expressed his joy by showering the ground with yellow sprinkles of, well, you know… And Porkchop… oh, how do we describe this character of a dog? He is just altogether something else. ❤️

In the end, the trip to Salt Lake City was… a special, lifetime experience. We learned a valuable lesson: sometimes, a vacation without the furry overlords might be easier, but this way, it is filled with love. Harder and more tiring, yes, but we both know that we wouldn’t trade it for the world. We just love the three boys too much.

I think this is a big reason why he made me love him so much – he just loves dogs (and animals in general). And this, folks, is how I know he is a good person with a kind heart. And my husband? Well, he learned that perhaps “essential for our marriage” might have been a slight exaggeration. LOL.

Even though we are still here in Salt Lake City, I know in my heart that the return trip will be bittersweet. We will always cherish the freedom of the open road, the companionship of our furry travel buddies, and the simple joy of exploring the beautiful and vast American landscape. Once we’re back in L.A., we’ll be refreshed and rejuvenated, with a newfound appreciation for the short break we just had… a time for us and the three boys to just be. Trust me, we all need to take a break, enjoy it, and just run with it. THIS IS A MUST!