NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

One random afternoon, my son Gavin, now a second-year college student, texted me his schoolwork on autoethnography and asked how I felt about it. I was in the middle of a hectic day, so I quickly skimmed through and replied, “Good.”

Hours later, when the house was finally quiet and I had a moment to breathe, I read it again this time slowly. And my heart sank a little. “Good” wasn’t enough. It wasn’t just good… it was incredible.

We migrated when Gavin was only five. Growing up in a Filipino household while being shaped by an American education and environment has never been simple. There were times I knew he felt torn between cultures, expectations, and ways of seeing the world.

You’re right, Gavin, it truly is like living between two worlds. But the way you’ve learned to understand, blend, and honor both is something extraordinary. I’m so proud of how you carry the warmth, respect, and family values of your Filipino roots, while also embracing the independence, openness, and self-expression of your American life.

You didn’t grow up in the Philippines, but your heart and mind still see it. You notice the nuances, the beauty, the stories even from afar. That awareness is rare, and it speaks volumes of the person you are becoming.

So I take it back, it’s not just good. I am deeply, profoundly impressed. And now I’m sharing it with the world, because I couldn’t be prouder to be your mom.

Bridged Cultures: An Asian American Teenager’s Life

By Gavin Viray

The story of migration is one of balance between cultures, traditions, and identities. My life as a male Asian American, born in the Philippines and raised in the United States from the age of five, reflects this negotiation. Through my upbringing, I learned to blend Filipino cultural values and American ideals into one identity that shapes my worldview.

I interviewed my parents and grandmother (who lives with us) about how they passed on Filipino culture to me as I grew up to understand my balance. I also explored the differences between Filipino and American nurture through research, articles, and even a film (Easter Sunday, Jo Koy as the lead). These efforts helped me develop a deeper awareness of my blended experiences and shaped the creation of this digital autoethnography. 

Growing up in a Filipino household, I was shaped by the values of family, faith, and community. Respect for my elders, family-based decision-making, and communal responsibility were constant reminders of the importance of togetherness. 

Education was treated as sacred, a pathway toward opportunity, and my parents emphasized academic achievement as a central goal.

Hospitality also played a key role: welcoming guests with food and warmth wasn’t just tradition; it was our expression of care. Communication in my family valued harmony, politeness, and respect, seen in honorifics like po and opo or kinship titles such as kuya (older brother) and ate (older sister). Catholic & Christian traditions anchored our lives, instilling resilience and hope while connecting us to centuries of cultural practice.

At school and in social spaces, American ideals of independence, individualism, and self-expression were just as strong an influence as family. Where my Filipino background stressed humility and obedience, my American education encouraged confidence, assertiveness, and critical thinking. Navigating these differences taught me how to adapt and be culturally flexible.

I didn’t see myself as Filipino or American; I embraced both sides. I would practice respect and collectivism at home, in school, and in society, where I valued independence and personal voice. This hybrid identity, as scholar Homi Bhabha describes it as a “third space” that allows me to live fluidly between cultures and find strength in diversity.

My blended upbringing demonstrates that cultural hybridity is not a conflict but a resource. Filipino values of family, hospitality, and faith anchor me, while American ideals of independence and self-expression broaden my horizons. Together, they form a unique identity that enables me to honor tradition while embracing change, to respect community while asserting individuality, and to navigate the modern world with both resilience and pride.

“For Filipino Americans, it’s a battle for recognition, for identity in a culture where, for the mainstream, Asians tend to fade into a monochromatic racialized ‘other.’” – Jose Antonio Vargas

Deep-Rooted Intersection

By Gavin Viray

The heart, the soul’s island, where kindness reigns,

Communication flows like soft summer rains.

We weave our words with threads of grace,

Indirect whispers in a warm embrace.

Here, home is not just four walls and a door,

The warm blend of two cultures where love is the core,

In circles of kinship, we gather each night,

With tales of our days that urge us to take flight.

Generations gather, stories entwined,

In every smile and laugh, our fates are aligned.

From grandparents’ wisdom to children’s sweet dreams,

Stick true to the lessons unbroken at the seams

Books lay on tables with wisdom and care,

We strive for tomorrow; our dreams fill the air.

Education’s a treasure that blossoms in mind,

A charming legacy cherished all by my kind,

In vibrant discussions that stretch through the night,

Nurture these futures with hopes burning bright,

So while paths may diverge in a world far and wide,

The Filipino spirit will remain my true guide.

For love for my family shapes who I will be,

Each choice and each challenge, they’re all a part of me.

With laughter and learning as my anchors, stay true,

This culture I embrace; in it, I renew.