LOVE IS… COMPLICATED

“It’s an EXPERIENCE,” Frances says, describing LA dating. “A mix of exciting possibilities and soul-crushing disappointments.” A major hurdle? LA distance. What seems like a quick coffee date can turn into a logistical nightmare involving rush hour traffic and a 45-minute drive (and a huge Uber bill if one doesn’t drive). Then there’s the pervasive “going with the flow” mentality, which Frances interprets as a polite way of saying, “I’m not ready for a label, but I’m definitely ready for your Instagram handle (and other things, IYKYK).”

LA dating trends are as unique as the city itself. Speed dating is making a resurgence, offering the chance to meet a dozen potential matches in rapid succession. “I’ve seen some Instagram profiles hosting speed dating events,” Frances notes. “Single people actually go to these things!” As for LA “types,” Frances has observed a distinct preference for certain ethnicities. “They really like Latinas and Asians,” she says. “Guys wouldn’t usually go for their own race.” This observation, while anecdotal, reflects a broader trend of interracial dating, although it’s good to avoid generalizations about individual preferences.

Hookup culture also presents a massive challenge for those seeking serious relationships. “It’s very hard to date seriously when everyone’s just trying to hook up,” Frances laments. This sentiment is echoed (with a megaphone, perhaps) by many singles in LA, where the lines between casual flings and committed relationships can be blurry.

Navigating the hectic world of dating apps is a crucial part of the LA dating experience. Frances has found some hidden gems with Facebook Dating (“I’ve met some great people who have become my friends!”) but considers Hinge and Tinder the “worst dating apps ever.” 

She’s also encountered her share of memorable (and perhaps forgettable?) profiles, particularly those boasting the “Producer/Entrepreneur/Visionary” trifecta. “They brunch at Soho House, meditate in Malibu, and don’t wait in lines,” she quips. “Swipe left.” (Hahaha! My friend cracks me up so much.) 

One particularly disastrous online experience involved a catfish. “Everything was going great until I asked for a selfie,” Frances recalls. “Turns out he was a catfish!”

First dates in LA typically involve coffee or dinner. However, flakiness is a common occurrence. “Flaking, canceling, or rescheduling at the last minute is very common,” Frances says. “When someone flakes, I immediately take it as a red flag (among many, many red flags).” One memorable (and not in a good way) date involved a trip to Knott’s Scary Farm. “The ‘ghosts’ were only scaring me,” she recounts. “I was so mad because they were just scaring me the whole night that I just wanted to go home!”

My friend is currently looking for a serious relationship, but balancing dating with work, friends, and hobbies requires careful time management. “I like being intentional with my time,” she explains. “If I’m not dating, I usually check in with my friends, ask them to hang out and catch up. I also like my “me” time. I like to go out alone, explore new places, and try new things!”

The most outrageous dating story she has? After four dates with a guy she met online, he confessed he had a wife and child back in Armenia but wanted to continue dating. “Never talked to him again,” she says. (And this, ladies, is why it’s a literal scary battle out there… because, why?! Why is this done?)

Frances was recounting her friend’s disastrous date at a trendy rooftop bar (which turned out to be a “mocktail only” bar) and it provides so many laughs. The guy spent about 20 minutes pretending to feel a “buzz” off his (unknowingly) virgin mojito, talking about how he could “really taste the tequila.” The girl didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth until the bartender came over and casually mentioned that they didn’t serve alcohol. He turned bright red, chugged his drink, and immediately suggested they leave for “real drinks.” The date’s attempt to fake a buzz off his virgin mojito is a testament to the lengths people will go to avoid embarrassment.

Frances’ go-to escape plan for a bad date? “Asking a friend to call me, but I’m actually booking an Uber so I can get out of there fast.” (Ladies, developing an escape plan is a MUST! Believe me.)

The best dating advice she’s received? “Date with curiosity, not expectation.” It’s a reminder to focus on enjoying the present moment rather than fixating on the future. In the LA dating scene, where the search for “the one” can feel like a never-ending lifelong marathon, this advice is particularly valuable to keep one sane and perhaps still hopeful. Frances has learned quickly that instead of wondering, “Is this my future partner?” she focuses on the pros of it (yes, believe it or not, there’s always a good side to everything…) – “Do I enjoy this person’s company? Am I learning something about them (or myself)?”

Frances’ dating journey, like that of many single LA peeps, is a wild mix of humorous anecdotes, frustrating encounters, and glimmers of hope (yes, again, H o P e exists, trust me). A testament to the resilience of those seeking genuine connection in a city often defined by its superficiality. While the quest for love in LA might involve navigating a minefield of “producers,” dodging catfish, and enduring the occasional Knott’s Scary Farm horror show, it also offers the potential for unexpected friendships, hilarious stories, and maybe, just maybe, a real, lasting relationship.

So, if you find yourself single in LA, take heart. Embrace the absurdity, learn from the disappointments, and remember Frances’ advice: date with curiosity, not expectation. And always, always have an Uber on standby.