I got invited to my cousin’s wedding this past summer. The alcohol was encouraging and ya girl was feelin’ herself, so I decided to partake in the bouquet toss. Emotions were high, and the girls surrounding me were possessively determined and rambunctious to catch that bouquet.

I ended up catching it, but some other girls wanted it more. So they aggressively knocked me down and gave me a concussion. I really could’ve used an ice pack for the knot on my head instead of melting ice cubes wrapped up in those linen wedding napkins. Girls need to cool it with that stuff!!!